Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
