is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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