Where did you get a picture of my penis
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
