a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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