Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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