College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
