I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
