I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
