i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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