OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
