dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
