we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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