I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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