drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
that's an acceptable place to lick
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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