I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
