people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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