I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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