You can't motorboat a personality
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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