She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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