were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
