You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
