i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
