I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
This is my gift to your gina
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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