I'm lost and stupid without you.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
