Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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