So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
