And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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