We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
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