plz talk dirty to me
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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