The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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