You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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