Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Randomize
