can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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