Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
