and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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