And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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