these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
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