And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I can't turn off my feet"
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
