I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
