I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
