thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
