So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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