All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
