You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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