You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Swine flu is the new snow day.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
