Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
