With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
