so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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