I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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