Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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