her vagina looked like bernie madoff
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
